Small
by Taintless
Summary: I thought before what would happen if you died, Harry. I wondered how I’d cope. And I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to. I thought if you died, I’d just crumble up. But I haven’t, Harry. I’m stronger than I thought. I’m coping.


She was such a small girl, really. As she walked through the graveyard clutching her small almost weak bunch of flowers, she felt tiny and lost. The gravestones seemed to tower over her, a maze of the dead. It was dark because she hadn't wanted to go through the day. Harry Potter was more famous in death than he'd even been in life and his grave was a busy place; she wanted to be alone.

It was her first time coming to see him.

It had taken her a long time to summon up the courage. More than a month.

But then courage wasn't really her thing. She'd never lost anybody so important to her and she never really visited the cemetery. Certainly not on her own. As she looked around, a surge of childish ghoulish fear rose irrationally through her.

She felt very young and small and lost…

And when she finally came along Harry's grave, something inside her seemed to break. It hit her again, like she'd known it would. No real gravestone there yet, just a marker and a huge mesh of flowers from his many loved ones and admirers.

Her flowers were so small in comparison to everybody else's.

The torrential crying time had passed but she still had no control over the little tears that leaked onto her cheeks. She shook slightly but that was more over the cold than with emotion.

"Harry…" she breathed but couldn't say anything more for the minute. She felt slightly foolish in the dark, unsure how to make the connection with this piece of ground and with the boy with the messy black hair and shiny green eyes.

And then she kneeled down and just looked at the little marker that bore only two words: Harry Potter. Soon, there'd be a huge gravestone with some fancy beautiful inscription on it. It would be grand and heart wrenching, fit for a hero. After all he had saved the world.

Ginny didn't have the same way with words, sadly. She couldn't properly express everything that seemed to squirm inside her. But for Harry's sake, she felt she ought to try.

And when the words came, they didn't stop. Once she started talking, she was no longer talking to the piece of earth. She was talking to Harry. It took her a while to start, a while to gather her thoughts. But the words she spoke came from the heart.

"Harry…." she whispered. "I miss you." She paused, shook her head and tried again. "I think about you all the time. Sometimes I still can't believe it, and sometimes I'm so angry that you were the one that had to die. But most of the time, I'm just sad. I hope you know how much I cared about you, how much you really did mean to me. You helped me grow up so much Harry, grow up from that little shy girl into somebody who could help you, who could fight, who could believe in herself.

"Before I met you, before we came so close, I was so confused. But you're a fighter, Harry. I saw all the battles you went through, and yet you didn't give up. I saw how much you cared and loved all your friends, how much you helped us all. You were so brave…and strong….Harry, you help me be strong too.

"I thought before what would happen if you died, Harry. I wondered how I'd cope. And I honestly didn't think I'd be able to. I thought if you died, I'd just crumble up. But I _haven't, _Harry. I'm stronger than I thought. I'm coping. And I'm helping the others cope to."

She looked up slightly to the stars before back at the grave again.

"I think you'd be proud of me. Like I was always proud of you."

Ginny wiped at her face one more time, surprised to find it dry despite the emotional quiver in her voice.

"I love you, Harry Potter. But I'm okay. And I know you're okay too. Rest in peace, Harry."

And she meant it. She wanted Harry Potter to finally find some peace, some rest. God knows he hadn't had enough of it in his short life.

She lay her little bunch of wild flowers down and instantly they were hidden and lost amongst the other huge arrangements. Insignificant. But as she walked away, she knew they were there. A piece of her was with him like a piece of him was still with her.

And as she walked back through the graveyard to leave, she felt no fear and a little bit less small than she had before…


End file.
